Tag Archives: skiing

Avalanches, Death Threats, and No Lifts. Welcome to the World’s Craziest Ski Race

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyAsqKdV6Mg

When one thinks of Afghanistan, one usually does not think of skiing.

There are several reasons for this.

  1. Afghanistan has been war-ravaged for decades.

  2. Afghanistan,” “leisure sports,” and “fun, relaxing time” are not things ever associated with one another in many peoples’ minds.
  3. There are no ski lifts in Afghanistan.

  4. There are people in Afghanistan, right this very second,actively trying to kill/maim/torture anyone with a Western passport. To make it worse, those very same people really don’t like people who have the audacity to have been born with female genitalia.

  5. The country doesn’t exactly scream, “Hey, people, come hang out and spend some of those lucrative tourist dollars!

 

  1. The altitude up there can exceed 11,000 feet, making it very hard to breathe properly when there is not a lot of oxygen floating around. Not ideal when you have to scale a mountain on foot with skis strapped to your back in order to shuss down it.

  2. There are no ski shops within 5,000 miles. Not super convenient if you forgot your long underwear.
  3. There are no female ski instructors (there are a few men who have been trained), and women are not allowed to be alone with men in any situation.

I could go on, but you get the gist.

Avalanches, Death Threats, and No Lifts. Welcome to the World’s Most Dangerous Ski Race

Trekking up the mountain range. (Photo: Paula Froelich)

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Afghanistan: The Land of the YUMMs… No , Really.

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Chilling in Afghanistan with Arnaud - the Swiss skier who lives in Tehran. Random, I know.

Chilling in Afghanistan with Arnaud – the Swiss YUMM who lives in Tehran. Random, I know.

As those of you who follow me on twitter, facebook or tumblr may know – I just got back from attending the Afghan Ski Challenge in Afghanistan. And by just got back, I mean I literally still smell like the plane, despite two showers. [Ed Note: WTF is up with me and skiing this year? you’d think I’d actually know how to strap on a pair of skis by myself now and get down a green slope without biting it like 15 times… which I don’t… or, you know, be super sporty… which, for a woman who’s life motto has always been the Lemonheads song, “I Lied About Being the Outdoor Type,” is mildly hilarious].

But despite the altitude, the three foot snow drifts and the mandated physical activity, I managed to find the bright side. After the jump, I present to you the YUMMs (Young Urban Mountain Men) who thank fully congregated in Bamiyan for your viewing pleasure:

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Forget Sochi: Have Your Own Private Olympics (with Video!)

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Photo courtesy of Atos.

Photo courtesy of Atos International.

There’s so many reasons not to bother with the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia this year.  Let’s count them, shall we?

1. The virulent anti-homophobia that has gripped Russia courtesy of Vladimir Putin (despite the most watched winter sports being dominated by the gays. I’m not here to out anyone but if a dude has custom ice skates on and and a matching lycra outfit, there’s a pretty safe bet to be placed that he won’t be sidling up to any Playboy parties anytime soon).

2. THERE’S NO HOTEL ROOMS – even for the people (media) who let Russian officials know they’d be coming, oh, A YEAR ago. From USA Today:

A stray dog inside the hotel, building dust everywhere and debris scattered all around. That’s what some Olympic-accredited visitors have found on arrival in the mountains above Sochi.According to the Sochi Olympic organizing committee, only six of the nine media hotels in the mountain area are fully operational. The accommodation for athletes, however, has not been affected by the problems.

3. This lady and all her bomb-happy pals – there are apparently, more than five – who are really, really angry at Putin and have threatened to blow some (read: any) shizz up. Oh yeah – and she made it through security.

Run if you see this woman.

4. And let’s not forget the fact that NBC, in an attempt to corral ad dollars into prime time, doesn’t like to run the Olympics live, so by the time you watch the main events they are already on the interwebs and the events the network deems unworthy (like mine and Putins favorite, rhythmic gymnastics) they don’t bother to show at all.

So, my duckies, I present an alternative for you – Chile. In August, all the Olympics skiers train their butts off at Valle Nevado (home of the aforementioned Man Stew) and Portillo ski resorts. Where you can watch Olympians do their things without crowds or bombers… and then party with them later that night.

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How To Survive High Altitudes (With Bonus Video!)

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Coca leaves, I looove you!

Coca leaves, I looove you!

I’m usually good up in the mountains – okay fine, there may be a bout or fifteen with HAF*, but nothing a few GasX won’t cure – but holy hell was I not prepared for what was about to happen in Peru or Chile.

High Altitude Sickness kicked in the first time for me in Peru. I was in Cusco at the market – not the big tourist one but the one waaaaay down the hill where the locals go – haggling my ass off over some alpaca skins when suddenly I wanted to die. As in crawl in the ground and call it a day. I got nauseous, light headed, dizzy and blacked out thinking, “THIS is how it’s gonna go down? Here?” I woke up to the guy I was haggling with standing over me and shoving what looked like bay leaves in my mouth.

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Where The Boys Are: The Valle Nevada Man Stew

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Dear (Single) Ladies,

Tired of trying to meet Mr. Right through bad introductions, OkCupid, Match, JDate or Tinder? Sick of wondering if an axe murderer will show up or why the dude who’s stiffing you with the check for his drink doesn’t resemble the chiseled hunk in his profile at all? Do you ever wonder if there’s one place in the world you could go and just be surrounded by hot guys — kind of like MTV’s Spring Break — but in reverse? Or, on a night out with your girlfriends, looked around at the slim pickings have you thought: “Ok. Somewhere there has got to be a place full of eye candy for us. There’s just got to be.” Well, no worries ladies, I have the answer: Chile.

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