How To Piss Off the Locals in Mexico

http://youtu.be/CcVVgXKuqmA

The No. 1 rule of travel is pretty simple: Don’t piss off the locals. Most people know this — or at least they think they do, and they usually give it the old college try when it comes to not stepping on the toes of the people around them in another city or country.

Related: How to P*** Off a New Yorker in 12 Easy Steps

But what if you don’t know? What if you have no idea what irks the heck out of the locals? No worries; Yahoo Travel is here to help. With our How to P*ss Off series, we help you navigate those crazy cultural differences that can get you in so much trouble. So instead of getting bad karma and dirty looks, you can make friends and have a great time. This week’s episode is all about Mexico — everything you need to know to not rock the boat when visiting. We love our neighbors to the south, but do not piss them off. It ain’t pretty.

Related: 12 Ways to P*** Off a Nebraskan

Thanks to The Muddy Boot.

The Burmese Boat Festival That Puts The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade to Shame

Once a year at the end of October on Inle Lake in Myanmar, there is a festival of epic proportions. The lake’s canals and surrounding waterways are jammed with long boats rowed by over 100 men, all wearing fishing pants and dress shirts. But the most amazing thing to witness is that they row with their legs. Not kidding.

Related: 12-Inch Necks: How Women Torture Themselves for Beauty in the Far East

WATCH: The Burmese Boat Festival That Puts Mardi Gras to Shame

An over-the-top festival on Inle Lake. (Photo: Andrew Rothschild)

Four out of five golden Buddha statues from the Phaung-Daw-Oo Pagoda are carried on a royal barge and taken around to 15 villages on the lake. Hundreds of boats follow the two-week-long procession. As they squeeze through narrow canals with the music pumping and the rower’s legs churning, it turns into one heck of a party.

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Bagan: The Secret City of Temples

On the banks of the Irrawaddy River, several hundred miles north of Yangon in Myanmar, lies Bagan — a once secret and all-but-abandoned city, dedicated to Buddha. Covering an area of 40 miles are endless temples and stupas in varying degrees of disarray and decay.

Bagan is an ancient city that is perhaps the embodiment of one of the biggest lessons in history — all things must come to an end.

Related: How Women Torture Themselves for Beauty in the Far East

The Ancient, Secret City of Bagan: The Most Zen Place in the World

You may not have heard about Bagan, but you’ll want to put it on your bucket list. (Andrew Rothschild)

While some locals claim that the city was officially founded in the 2nd century A.D., it didn’t come to prominence until the 7th century. From 1044 to 1287, it became a seat of power, and more than 10,000 religious buildings were erected – many by wealthier citizens hoping to get in good with the Buddha. The theory was that if you built a big stupa or temple, you wouldn’t be reincarnated again; you would go straight to nirvana.

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Saving 200 Girls From Sex Slavery is More Important Than Your Frappawhatever – Read This + Donate Now


Buddhist nuns are everywhere among the streets of Myanmar — of all different ages, some as young as 5. Dressed in pink loose-fitting shirts and pants with orange scarves, they have shaved heads and rely on alms to pay for their schooling, food, housing, and other basic needs.

This Burmese Nunnery Saved 200 Girls From Sex Slavery

The nunnery is a safe place in a country where poor girls have very little hope for a safe future. (Andrew Rothschild for Yahoo) 

Monks don’t have the same economic handicaps. The large temples pay for their needs, but that’s not surprising. In Myanmar, being a woman is hard, more so if you are poor and live in the north of the country, where tribes are still battling the government.

Related: 12-Inch Necks: How Women Torture Themselves for Beauty in the Far East

Girls in these areas are in a precarious position, constantly in danger of being trafficked across foreign borders. According to the United Nations Inter-Agency Project on Human Trafficking:

“Myanmar is a source country for women, children, and men trafficked for the purposes of forced labour and commercial sexual exploitation. Myanmar people are trafficked to Thailand, China, Malaysia, South Korea, and Macau for sexual exploitation, domestic servitude, and forced labour.”

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Forget the Diamonds, In the Far East It’s All About Jade for Christmas!

I’ve never really thought much about jade. Perhaps it’s because in New York (where I currently reside) there are thousands of jade bracelets for sale on almost every street corner for around $5. That, and I’m not really a bracelet girl.

But I was schooled hard in Mandalay, Myanmar, where I hit the world-famous jade market. Deals for the finest jade have been haggled there for hundreds of years.

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12-Inch Necks: How Women Torture Themselves for Beauty in the Far East

Last month, during my trip to Myanmar, I met a group of women with 12-inch necks wrapped in brass coils.

“What?” you may be exclaiming in horror. “No way! How could that be? Isn’t that painful? Why would they do that to themselves?”

But really… why are you so shocked?

Related: Spend the Best Day of Your Life in an Elephant Retirement Home

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Bamiyan: The Silk Road City That Time Forgot

One of the coolest things about travel is wandering into a place that time seems to have truly forgotten. These days, locations like that are few and far between — but they still exist. One of the most special to me is Bamiyan, Afghanistan. I went there earlier this year for the Afghan Ski Challenge. At first, I was very nervous. After all, it’s Afghanistan: It’s war-torn and medieval. And I kept wondering, “Will I have to wear a burka?”

Related: Brave or Insane? This Woman Cross-Dressed Her Way Across Afghanistan

Well, yes and no. It is no longer war-torn. In fact, northern Afghanistan is considered peaceful — the Taliban was very harsh to the local Hazara people and blew up the famed, ancient Buddha structures in 2001. But when the United States troops invaded in 2002, the Taliban was swiftly routed and kicked out. They have yet to resurface there.

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A Piece in Capital New York Made the Broad Cry Last Week

Paula froelich

Ok! So I cried in a good way! – And here’s why. I spent 4.5 years in the wilderness after I left Page Six and had some of the MOST OFFENSIVE SH-T told to me (EVER!) by male media execs including:

  • “You’re too smart for our audience.”
  • “You know what your problem is? You don’t fit in a box…” [from a cliched dude who prided himself on thinking “out of the box’]
  • “Women don’t watch travel shows.”
  • “You are great and so dynamic, but you’re from New York and smart. Our viewers are in the flyover states and god are they stupid. I don’t even watch the shit we put up on our screen for them…” [Me: “i’m from Ohio and Kentucky.” Dude: “Really? i would never have guessed.”]
  • “We are focusing on the male demographic right now – it’s what advertisers want.” [me: so you’re only hiring male talent?; Dude: Pretty much. sorry. I know women are funny – youknow women are funny, but America doesn’t like funny women.]
  • “Yeah, but whats your angle??? Everyone has to have an angle or a shtick these days!”
  • “Women are really into getting married.”
  • “Women don’t want funny travel books or essays – they only buy travel books if there is a journey involved. You know, like Eat, Pray Love.”
  • “You are so smart and funny and cool… I just wouldn’t know what to do with you.”
  • “You know what women like? Women really like beach shows. Like where the best beaches are…”
  • “You have really sexy shoes”
  • “We need to start figuring out how to get people to start buying TVs again.”

So.. along came a piece by Joe Pompeo who… got me. And got my story. It made me cry. After the jump is an excerpt, but you should read the whole thing. It’s lovely.

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The Quest For the Perfect Travel Partner (Stop Asking Me Why I’m Not Married)

solo unicorn in Brazil

Proof that I really am a unicorn as, let’s be honest, only unicorns have rainbows emanating from their asses. (Truth number 1: It is really hard to get proof of unicornness. It can really only be done in Iguazu Falls, Brazil).

I’ve taken to wearing a wedding ring when I travel. It is a fake gold band on the ring finger of my left hand that most people assume marks me as married. I do this for several reasons. Most of all because, as the editor in chief of Yahoo Travel I travel a lot, often to countries where if you, as a woman, are not married you are either a virgin or a whore – and I am way too old to be a virgin. Countries where even the slightest gesture –a glance in someone’s direction or a smile when you say, “Thank you” can also mean: “OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO HOT PLEASE JUMP MY BONES NOW!” The ring comes in handy then. Continue reading

The Hot New Workout from Mexico? The El Jimador Burn! (aka How to Make Tequila in 6 “Easy” Steps)

http://youtu.be/XvTflC3SMZs

I have to be honest with you, tequila was never my jam. In college there was too much of it, there was usually a worm involved and the smell just made me gag. It also causes a weird side-effect for me. It makes me go all vampire on people and try to bite anyone within a two feet radius. It’s not pretty.

However, in recent years, everyone I know has started drinking it – but on another level. Not as a cheap mixer for a margarita, or as a slammer (“lick it, drink it, suck it”), but as a high end liquor on its own, often without lime. I was confused. “But it’s so awful,” I said to my friend in Los Angeles.

Related: I Finally Learned How to Put on a Decent Skeleton Face For the Day of the Dead 

“Try it,” he said, offering me some 49-month, barrel-aged tequila. I took a deep breathe, steeled my stomach and… it was delicious. Like scotch. I was considering converting when an invite to the Herradura Tequila Factory in Amititan, Mexico came through.

“Sign me up!” I said and a week later there I was at the distillery (housed in an old school hacienda)  in the agave fields surrounding the Amititan Mountains.

The Herradura hacienda has been run by the same family for 184 years and is the perfect blend of old school and new technology. My guide, Ruben Aceves, hoisted me on a horse and we rode out to the Agave fields, where I started my “How To Make Tequila in Six Steps.”

“It’s easy,” Ruben said.

Ruben is a liar.

Click HERE for all six steps. PS: My arms still hurt.