Category Archives: Deep Thoughts

The Quest For the Perfect Travel Partner (Stop Asking Me Why I’m Not Married)

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solo unicorn in Brazil

Proof that I really am a unicorn as, let’s be honest, only unicorns have rainbows emanating from their asses. (Truth number 1: It is really hard to get proof of unicornness. It can really only be done in Iguazu Falls, Brazil).

I’ve taken to wearing a wedding ring when I travel. It is a fake gold band on the ring finger of my left hand that most people assume marks me as married. I do this for several reasons. Most of all because, as the editor in chief of Yahoo Travel I travel a lot, often to countries where if you, as a woman, are not married you are either a virgin or a whore – and I am way too old to be a virgin. Countries where even the slightest gesture –a glance in someone’s direction or a smile when you say, “Thank you” can also mean: “OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO HOT PLEASE JUMP MY BONES NOW!” The ring comes in handy then. Continue reading →

Nelson Mandela’s Former Prison Warden Will Read Your Palm #NotKidding

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Nelson Mandela’s Former Prison Warden Will Read Your Palm

Meet Kevin Leak, South African palm reader to the stars. (Photo: Paula Froelich)

I had no idea what a chirologist was until I went to South Africa. I don’t feel that bad about not knowing — the spell checker and auto-dictionary in Word on my MacBook Air doesn’t know what one is, and I’m convinced that it knows everything. But when my driver in Johannesburg told me out of the blue that he had a friend who used to be a prison warden and was now a chirologist, I pulled a Scooby Doo (your head swings around and you say, loudly, “WHUH?”).

Turns out, chirology is a fancy name for palm reading. Continue reading →

Singapore Airlines First Class Suites Ruined My Life

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In August I had a super awesome, amazingly bright idea: I was going to do a video inside the first-class suites on Singapore Airlines.

I’d heard about the airline’s first-class suites from a fellow (way wealthier) traveler a year before. His name was “Big Dave,” and he and his wife, “Carla” (who looked like Snooki), were sitting at a table next to me in a restaurant in Danang. They had just flown to Vietnam from London in one of those suites.

“It’s like your  own damn room!” he’d bragged. “I mean — look at me — I’m a big guy. I hate flying … and I never wanted to leave that plane!” (Big Dave was indeed a big guy. In fact, he was bordering on morbidly obese. I could understand how a normal seat would be confining for a man of his size.)

At first I was only semi-interested. But two hours and many bottles of wine later, I was full-on jealous — and nauseated (he’d started to brag about the “real” Mile High Club).

But I was determined. One day, I would take that mystical, magical flight and sleep in that bed and have the caviar service, Ferragamo amenity kits, and Givenchy sleep suits.

Flying Singapore Airlines in First Class for an Hour Ruined My Life

The first-class suite is just like heaven. (Andrew Rothschild)

Continue reading →

9 Life Lessons I Learned By Ditching My Career and Traveling the World

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Life Lessons

A little over a year ago, I was asked to submit a chapter for the new book “The 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women,” edited by Glynnis MacNicol and Rachel Sklar. At the time, I was confused: While I had once been very successful, at that particular moment I didn’t feel so super successful. I was a freelancer who was just about to run out of her savings. Below is a summary and excerpt of the chapter that appears in the book, available on Amazon.

Four years ago, I did the unthinkable (at least to my hard-working Midwestern family). I quit my job. Without another one lined up. And it wasn’t just any old job — I was the deputy editor for the New York Post’s famed Page Six column. I was on TV, had scored on-air regular gigs with “Entertainment Tonight” and “The Insider,” and was financially stable for the first time in my life. That was the bright side. The downside was … I was miserable. I felt trapped in a job I’d fallen into, that I had no interest in, and I was ironically stuck in a small world that was ruled by Kim Kardashian’s big booty.

The result was a deep depression that affected all areas of my life. So, I pulled the ripcord. I left everything I’d known for the last decade … I collected my toys, cleaned out my office, and went home.

Oddly enough, while I couldn’t go beyond a four-block radius of my apartment, I found that I could pack a bag and fly 4,000 miles away.

Continue reading →

Deep Thoughts: How (And Why) I Blew Up My Life And Started Traveling

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Recently, I’ve been asked by several people, “So why did you give up your career and dedicate your life to traveling?” And, I point them to my essay, “Controlled Burn,” in the new Kindle Series, “The 10 Habits Of Highly Successful Women.” [Click HERE to buy now – you’ll love it I swear!].

In the essay I describe how (according to Amazon):

“[Paula Froelich] was a raging runaway star in the media world. But at the apex of her career, she had to blow up her life and set a controlled burn to learn what real success is.”

Because, yeah – despite looking like a big old success and supah-stah, deep down I hated my life and felt like a fraud. For several reasons outlined in the essay, but too long for this post. It was by taking a hot minute [read: four years] off and traveling that l that I got my bravery, boldness and self back. After the jump are select excerpts from the piece:

Continue reading →

Deep Thoughts: Things I REALLY Need But Almost Always Forget To Pack

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So much stuff, yet so much missing...

So much stuff, yet so much missing…

I’m about to head off on another fun filled, f-cked up trip and am packing. (No, I can’t say where yet, but it’s one of the places on my 2014 Bucket List – I’ll tell you when I get back). And it struck me – there’s always SOMETHING I forget to bring… something that I realize I’ve left when it’s too late to do anything about it. So, for my edification, I’ve created the ultimate list of Shizz I Always Forget.

1.Tweezer. Fun fact: In another life, I could’ve been the bearded lady in any decent carnival. If I don’t tweeze my eyebrows and chin on a regular basis I turn truly Yeti-like. And what’s with getting older and realizing you all of a sudden have chin hair? You should have seen me when I returned from 3.5 weeks down the River Niger. I looked like this:

This is what I look like after three weeks without a tweezer.

Photo courtesy of Nadia Robot. 

Continue reading →

Guate-Hollah! Part 1

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Black sand beaches - so pretty, yet so sinister...

Black sand beaches – so pretty, yet so sinister…

 

GUATEMALA — a tropical, picturesque, adventure-filled destination — is what Costa Rica used to be. As in Cheap. Because the tourist hordes haven’t discovered it yet, Guatemala remains affordable. The Central American country, bordering southern Mexico, is still a spot where $100 can get budget-minded travelers their own bungalow and all meals for a day, with money left over for a turtle race (yes, a turtle race – and no, while some were molested, none had their throats slit).

At least all this is true in Monterrico – a town famous for its never-ending volcanic black-sand beaches, azure blue waters and a relaxed atmosphere. After the jump, molested turtles, six year olds driving four wheelers, Hulk Hogan’s illegitimate brother, and a seriously hungover Barbie:

Continue reading →

Deep Thoughts: “Jumping For Virility” Starring The Germans And The Samburu Warriors (With Video)

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Germany’s Natalie Geisenberger (5thL), Felix Loch (6thL),Tobias Arlt (6th R) and Tobias Wendt (5th R) leap on the podium celebrating their first place in the luge team relay competition between second-placed Russia and third-placed Latvia teams at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics

Germans love to jump. They will jump in groups (above). They will jump solo (below).

Felix Loch of Germany jumps onto the podium after he won the gold medal during the men’s singles luge final at the 2014

And they will also travel specifically to get pictures of themselves jumping. Like Tobias – a 31 year old  German computer engineer who liked to travel to “dangerous places and take pictures of myself jumping on famous things!”

I met Tobias when I went to Iraq – he was part of a motley crew of people who all decided to vacation in a semi-war zone. More on Tobias the jumper and my theory on Germans vs. The Samburu Warriors after the jump:

Continue reading →

More Fun Facts I Learned While Traversing The World (Part 2)

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Proof that I really am a unicorn as, let's be honest, only unicorns have rainbows emanating from their asses. (Truth number 1: It is really hard to get proof of unicornness. It can really only be done in Iguazu Falls, Brazil).

Proof that I really am a unicorn, as, let’s be honest, only unicorns have rainbows emanating from their asses. (Truth number 1: It is really hard to get proof of unicornness. It can really only be done in Iguazu Falls, Brazil).

More Truths From Around The World, courtesy of yours truly. The Unicorn of Truth Tellers. Heh.

  • In Mali, a muslim country, a woman can bathe by the side of the road in the river topless, but will NEVER show her legs above the ankle. It’s just not done.
  • Communists have a seriously underdeveloped sense of humor. At least in public.
  • For women: If you are looking for a hunky, manly man the place to go is BIAP (Baghdad International Airport), which is full of horny, female-starved Western contractors in the best physical condition of their life. And they will buy coffee.
  • Do NOT go to Africa if you are an albino. You will be sacrificed and possibly eaten.
  • The only times I’ve ever had food poisoning in a third world country was when I ate at five star hotels. Street meat = A ok in my book.
  • Be Careful of the chili in Cincinnati, Ohio. Your stomach may not be able to handle it.
  • What happens when you out-karaoke a North Korean?  I did it once – not pretty! It’s best not to do it Especially if you are in North Korea.
  • Communist regimes – or any dictatorial regime feeling threatened – do not like Facebook or Twitter. So much so, it is almost impossible to log in to those, or any other widely used social site, while in the confines of their borders. Just in case, you know, someone wants to start a revolution.
  • The Mandarin word for “shoe” is the same for “vagina” – so be careful when you say you want to go shoe shopping.
  •  In India, if two dudes are walking down the street holding hands, it means they’re friends NOT lovers.
  • In Japan, women let men get in the elevator first. I KNOW! SO ANNOYING!
  • Despite immense dental care advances throughout the world, the English still have really bad teeth, hence the “British Book Of Smiles”.
  • In England, a “fag” is a cigarette, not a nasty term for a homosexual.
  • Despite any and all stereotypes, most people in every country I have ever been to are really, really lovely. If just give them the chance.
  • NEVER shake hands with your left hand, pretty much anywhere. Especially in India. If someone offers to shake your hand with their left, they are insulting you.

What are some truths you’ve learned? I’d love to add them to my list… and put them in a large soon to be downloadable Book Of Truths (with illustrations!)

Deep Thoughts: How To Travel Anywhere And Not Get Killed or Maimed.

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I love a bodyguard

Yes, I know how to work that.

I’ve been known to travel to  places that some people [ed note: 99 percent] think are dodgy. I went to Iraq in 2011, was at the Essakane Music Festival outside of Timbuktu in 2013 (in my defense, Bono was there too), and hung out with a few “former” cocaine dealers in Colombia.

At this point my family has given up. Daddy (a right-wing, born again Tea Partier), now just shrugs and says, “God Bless and Hallelujah – I’ll call the prayer group.” Mom (a left-wing liberal Jew) just says, “Ah shit. Fine. Whatever.”
Over the years, I have developed a system that works for me in almost every country. Oddly enough, I’ve found people should be even more vigilant in “normal” places, because your guard is down – you just expect everything to be super fine and fun and cool – whereas in say, Cairo or Kirkuk, you are vigilant.
So, I present a by-no-means-cohesive list of How To Stay Safe. Or Alternatively, Paula Froelich’s Paranoid Guide To Travel.