So much stuff, yet so much missing…

I’m about to head off on another fun filled, f-cked up trip and am packing. (No, I can’t say where yet, but it’s one of the places on my 2014 Bucket List – I’ll tell you when I get back). And it struck me – there’s always SOMETHING I forget to bring… something that I realize I’ve left when it’s too late to do anything about it. So, for my edification, I’ve created the ultimate list of Shizz I Always Forget.

1.Tweezer. Fun fact: In another life, I could’ve been the bearded lady in any decent carnival. If I don’t tweeze my eyebrows and chin on a regular basis I turn truly Yeti-like. And what’s with getting older and realizing you all of a sudden have chin hair? You should have seen me when I returned from 3.5 weeks down the River Niger. I looked like this:

Photo courtesy of Nadia Robot. 

2. Toe Nail Clipper: Oh my god. It is the worst when you leave for a long trip and forget toenail clippers. Because you cant bite your toes (or at least I can’t – I was never that limber). They grow and grow and eventually I always end up practically severing an artery in my leg while I sleep due to the claws that sprout:

Not actually mine, but a decent representation nonetheless

3. Keys: Returning home from a trip the only thing that’s worse than facing a messy apartment (guilty) is realizing you left your keys in Timbuktu. Yes, this actually happened. I am still traumatized.

4. Underwear: I never seem to pack enough and can never figure out (or stomach) how to wash underwear in a sink… I am challenged. I know.

5. Razor: yep. always missing from my pack. I usually travel wearing long pants, but every now and then on a trip someone will be like “Let’s go swimming!” and i’ll say “sure!” and terrify everyone around (see bear claw pic above).

But here’s the thing – because I know I always forget one thing – I’m almost comforted when I find out what that thing is (as long as it’s not my keys)… then I’m like, “great. Got it. everything else is golden.” And it usually is.