Afghanistan: The Land of the YUMMs… No , Really.

Chilling in Afghanistan with Arnaud - the Swiss skier who lives in Tehran. Random, I know.

Chilling in Afghanistan with Arnaud – the Swiss YUMM who lives in Tehran. Random, I know.

As those of you who follow me on twitter, facebook or tumblr may know – I just got back from attending the Afghan Ski Challenge in Afghanistan. And by just got back, I mean I literally still smell like the plane, despite two showers. [Ed Note: WTF is up with me and skiing this year? you’d think I’d actually know how to strap on a pair of skis by myself now and get down a green slope without biting it like 15 times… which I don’t… or, you know, be super sporty… which, for a woman who’s life motto has always been the Lemonheads song, “I Lied About Being the Outdoor Type,” is mildly hilarious].

But despite the altitude, the three foot snow drifts and the mandated physical activity, I managed to find the bright side. After the jump, I present to you the YUMMs (Young Urban Mountain Men) who thank fully congregated in Bamiyan for your viewing pleasure:

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More Fun Facts I Learned While Traversing The World (Part 2)

Proof that I really am a unicorn as, let's be honest, only unicorns have rainbows emanating from their asses. (Truth number 1: It is really hard to get proof of unicornness. It can really only be done in Iguazu Falls, Brazil).

Proof that I really am a unicorn, as, let’s be honest, only unicorns have rainbows emanating from their asses. (Truth number 1: It is really hard to get proof of unicornness. It can really only be done in Iguazu Falls, Brazil).

More Truths From Around The World, courtesy of yours truly. The Unicorn of Truth Tellers. Heh.

  • In Mali, a muslim country, a woman can bathe by the side of the road in the river topless, but will NEVER show her legs above the ankle. It’s just not done.
  • Communists have a seriously underdeveloped sense of humor. At least in public.
  • For women: If you are looking for a hunky, manly man the place to go is BIAP (Baghdad International Airport), which is full of horny, female-starved Western contractors in the best physical condition of their life. And they will buy coffee.
  • Do NOT go to Africa if you are an albino. You will be sacrificed and possibly eaten.
  • The only times I’ve ever had food poisoning in a third world country was when I ate at five star hotels. Street meat = A ok in my book.
  • Be Careful of the chili in Cincinnati, Ohio. Your stomach may not be able to handle it.
  • What happens when you out-karaoke a North Korean?  I did it once – not pretty! It’s best not to do it Especially if you are in North Korea.
  • Communist regimes – or any dictatorial regime feeling threatened – do not like Facebook or Twitter. So much so, it is almost impossible to log in to those, or any other widely used social site, while in the confines of their borders. Just in case, you know, someone wants to start a revolution.
  • The Mandarin word for “shoe” is the same for “vagina” – so be careful when you say you want to go shoe shopping.
  •  In India, if two dudes are walking down the street holding hands, it means they’re friends NOT lovers.
  • In Japan, women let men get in the elevator first. I KNOW! SO ANNOYING!
  • Despite immense dental care advances throughout the world, the English still have really bad teeth, hence the “British Book Of Smiles”.
  • In England, a “fag” is a cigarette, not a nasty term for a homosexual.
  • Despite any and all stereotypes, most people in every country I have ever been to are really, really lovely. If just give them the chance.
  • NEVER shake hands with your left hand, pretty much anywhere. Especially in India. If someone offers to shake your hand with their left, they are insulting you.

What are some truths you’ve learned? I’d love to add them to my list… and put them in a large soon to be downloadable Book Of Truths (with illustrations!)

Deep Thoughts: The NYC Metropolitan Opera

I love a diva

Every now and then my pal Gus lets me play dress up and invites me to his amazing Parterre level box at the Metropolitan Opera. Inevitably, I almost always say yes (except for the night after my birthday as it was the night after my birthday and I was too busy self-medicating to get off my couch to take a shower). I leave feeling cultured and superior (to my alter ego, Rhonda who was mentally at home watching Country Music Television and stuffing her face with cheese fries). Last night, while seeing La Boheme, it struck me why The Opera is so addicting.

Behold, a scientific list: Continue reading

Where The Boys Are: The Valle Nevada Man Stew

Dear (Single) Ladies,

Tired of trying to meet Mr. Right through bad introductions, OkCupid, Match, JDate or Tinder? Sick of wondering if an axe murderer will show up or why the dude who’s stiffing you with the check for his drink doesn’t resemble the chiseled hunk in his profile at all? Do you ever wonder if there’s one place in the world you could go and just be surrounded by hot guys — kind of like MTV’s Spring Break — but in reverse? Or, on a night out with your girlfriends, looked around at the slim pickings have you thought: “Ok. Somewhere there has got to be a place full of eye candy for us. There’s just got to be.” Well, no worries ladies, I have the answer: Chile.

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